My Friend: A Shell of what She Once Was
by Zoe A. W
Summary: The self-loathing she feels. Smiles replaced by blank stares of hate. How can she feel the way she does: Worthless How Can I help her? …to keep her alive


"You've changed a lot." Naruto was walking through the halls of Konoha high with his new best friend in tow. She had moved from Mizu recently. "Sakura, I don't know you that well- I've only known you for what four months I guess, but when I first met you, you were so vibrant."

"What do you mean?" She asked his face was serious something that it never was.

"I mean like, when I first met you, you were really outgoing and you were definitely happy about every little accomplishment that anyone around you had. You were always uplifting, but now you just like…" he paused thinking his words over, "I know that you have some really hard stuff at home and at school but I want you to know that you can open up to me. I want you to be comfortable with me Sakura." She lowered her head as they walked through the bare white hallway. It was during lunch period so the hallways were empty and their every foot step resounded in the silence. "Sakura." He grabbed her chin forcing her head over to him so that she had to look in his eyes. "Please know that I'm here."

"Yeah I do." They walked into the crowded lunch room taking their places in their usual group.

"Promise me?"

"Promise"

"Then tell me what's wrong." He gestured for her to take the only open seat.

"Nothing." Lie. She nodded her head in gratitude

"Tell me."

"Naruto."

"Don't 'Naruto' me, what's going on?"

"Naruto-kun! Nani eigu otaku ato?" A girl with brown hair tied into two buns came up and began babbling about something that Sakura didn't understand.

"Ima iiya" HE snapped

"Ware nou ima" Her voice sounded almost winy.

"Ima iiya"

"Kudasai ware choudai inma"

"Ima iiya" he replied- she had noticed that his reply was always the same.

"Kudasai"

"Atonohouno tayou ware"

"Subayai! Tachisaru omaesan suge maikuoerekutoronikusu ni ui"

"Koiji Shikyo Ni" He said and waved her away.

"Arigato!" She skipped away happily.

"Sorry, we're going out later, after school today and she's very persistent.

"No I understand, I'm sorry- you could have just talked to her."

"No, I'm talking go you right now, Sakura what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"I'm going to a therapist now and I've become dependant on it and it's really getting hard- no big deal!"

"I'm always here weather you like it or not okay?" he held out his arms to hug her as she was sitting down, her head nestled snugly into his chest. "Sakura you have my phone number if something happens, because like I said walking over here- you've changed I'm not sure really what's happened you're more reserved more like-"

"A shell of what I once was." Naruto nodded as she remembered a letter her friend had typed out about her, she made a mental note to read it once she got home.

And that she did. Rang! Ring! Ring! "Hello?"

"Hey Sakura!"

"Naruto how are you, wait I thought you were going to the movies?"

"I'm home already. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I was talking to that girl you knew back from your old school- Ino. I saw her online and I just wanted to say that after talking to her no matter what's on your mind- I'm here okay?"

"Alright- thanks."

"I love you"

"Love you too baby, Muah!"

"Muah! See you tomorrow."

Click!

Sakura pulled up the hand-written letter that she had received upon moving to Konoha and quickly typed it in being careful not to miss a single punctuation even. Her hands flew across the keyboard as she remembered what people had claimed that she possessed:

_My friend is so beautiful but she is blind to it. She has bold features with full lips and flashing eyes and her sense of style is undeniable. Although her __**beauty is so evident **__on the outside, __**it's what she is on the inside**__, her heart, which draws so many people to her. Her kindness and compassion, and especially her sense of humor. She can make me crack up with a certain face or noise. And this girl's voice is that of an angel. Talented in __**innumerable ways**__, she's in a band, a cheerleader, and is academically above the rest. From group to group she flits, __**a social butterfly**__, unaware of the cliques, thinking each group is exquisite flower different, but equally delicious in nectar. Her many friends constantly envying her for attention and approval, advice and comfort. She is popular, not through fear, but by friendliness and authenticity. Which is why __**I can't understand**__ how this wonder of a women can possibly __**feel the way she does: Worthless**__._

Not many know _**the self-loathing she feels**__. I am one of the few who have been granted a tiny peek into her mixed-up world. I say mixed-up because my friend just can't see her loveliness and realize her value. __**Stress**__ runs her life, and __**anxiety**__ is her constant companion. __**Pressure, she feels is unavoidabl**__e. She wants it all to end, her pain to be banished forever, but she covers these unfathomable contemplations with __**extra smiles and laughter**__. There is no laughter when she is all alone and her mind is telling her she's nothing; the __**smiles replaced with blank stares**__, and the sense of nothingness returns._

What does one do when they see there friend like this, _**a shell of what they once were**__? How does one convince this miracle of the beauty she possesses, and that she is loved by others, when she can't love herself, and not even able to look at herself in the eye? This girl doesn't __**know how much she means to me**__. If this girl is taken away from me, I will be __**dead inside**__, because we are joined by something __**greater then us**__. Nothing can replace what we have. I want to always stay by her side, lifting her up, cheering her on, listening to her sobs and crying with her. I will repay her for what she has done for me, and I will strive __**to keep her alive**__. I have been placed in her life for a __**reason**_

[.: :.

Often times people will write stories about themselves and such and normally they're pretty dumb. I hope this isn't one of them. These things are all real the letter slightly modified to fit the character- only changing one physical attribute and changing Colorguard to Cheerleader. This Conversation is real. This letter is real. The Annoyingness of having no idea what people say when they speak in a language you can't understand is real. **THIS IS REAL.** Flame it- see if I care. Say that this A.N. is for pity-points say whatever you want. This is reality. This is the cold hard truth and I want to know weather or not I should make this a four chapter story or leave it as a one-shot. The facts are real the names have changed. The Game hasn't.

Love you all,

Zoe A.W.

For the part in Japanese, it is real Japanese I wouldn't go test it though I had to look up a lot but basically what it says is the following:

G: What movie do you want to see?

N: Not now!

G: Just tell me now…

N: Not now!

G: Please tell me?

N: Not now.

G: Please?!

N: Later, I'm busy.

G: Then tell me quickly!

N: Kill the love two!

G: Thank you!


End file.
